From The School of Life, a set of cards designed to help you answer that essential question: ‘Who should I spend my life with?’

When we try to imagine who we should ideally be with, we're often a bit vague: we might say we long for someone 'fun', 'nice' or 'cute'. But it can help to focus the picture a little, because the more we know about who we in particular really want and need, the better we can be at setting out to find them.

Who Should I Be With? is a game designed to sharpen our sense of what we should be looking for in love. It comprises a number of cards which describe some leading habits and character traits in people. Each card has a character trait on one side and the opposite trait on the reverse; listing the pros and cons of each to help guide you to more successful choices in love. It's a realistic, insightful and often funny tool to help us form better relationships.

Example Cards:

Oddly Tall

+ They’ve learned to carry it off; imposing/heroic; acquired compassion for anyone outside the norm.
- They’ll always be conspicuous. Residual sense of being freaky will reveal itself. Hotel beds too small. Long haul a nightmare (unless rich).

Surprisingly Short

+ Neat, delicate, pattable; they’ve coped with this challenge so they’ll cope with lots of others; they know it’s character that counts.
- Suppressed resentment. Overcompensation. It will always be something people notice. Might shout a lot in public.

How to Use the Cards

You might...

  • Sort through the cards, picking out the character traits you appreciate in a partner, and the ones that you find most maddening.
  • Play the game with a friend, and enjoy the opportunity to laugh warmly, given how imperfect we all are, at the paradoxes of choice.

The bold black-and-white design lets you know these cards are concerned with opposite character traits and the mutual embeddedness of strengths and weaknesses, prompting a debate about the duality of any choice we make when it comes to love.

About The School of Life

Founded by philosopher Alain de Botton, The School of Life is an organization that promotes emotional intelligence. Its books and courses are designed to help people find calm, self-understanding, and resilience through basic concepts found in philosophy and psychology. Topics covered include everything from love and marriage to modern capitalism and human behavior.